Blog – Clementine Ewokolo Burnley

I wrote a book! BELLING THE LEOPARD is out with Bloodaxe Books on September 24th and can be pre-ordered now. The artist Giana De Dier very generously allowed me to use the incredible collage ‘Conversaciones no. 4’ , on my book cover. I’m endlessly grateful. I feel that Giana’s work speaks to mine across Atlantics and time. Please check out https://gianadedier.com Thank you for your generosity and for your art.

My Year as a Lector for the Royal Literary Fund

In 2025 I led a 9 month in-person reading group for the Royal Literary Fund. It was revelatory and transformational and fun. Each year twenty people are selected to run Reading Round Groups all over the country.

The structure: I read to the group, we chatted. The same people came to the group so we built a practice of listening and reflecting together. The seasons changed, we had a great time. Repeat for a year. It was a challenge for us all to show up week after week. It was unexpectedly and intensely pleasurable. I haven’t read in community since I started paying my own rent. The group is over but what I learned was: while I’m often lonely, sometimes trying to make friends gets in the way of just being with other people and having a great time. We need more spaces where we can read with others.

one short story and one poem

Open to All • No Homework • No Prep • Free Sessions • Professional Writer

More about the Reading Round:

https://www.rlf.org.uk/community/

There’s a short video on the link, too

Things people have said about the Reading Round

‘I wouldn’t miss it for anything’

‘it’s changed my view on poetry’

‘it makes me think about things in a different way.’

‘just six minutes of reading a day could lower stress levels’ …Mindlab International at the University of Sussex.

Holding myself accountable with tenderness

This year one of my resolutions is to clean up my relationships. So this is about me holding myself accountable in February. It feels slightly confessional and cringe but I only offer practices to clients if I’ve tried those practices out myself.

Letter to myself:

Dear me, this year you are going to lose friends and colleagues in the movements you are in.

When you do remember:

If you lose relationship it because you’re not ready yet

Maybe they’re not ready either.

Move on, in an attitude of everything’s workable. Move on in joy.

When they are ready, they’ll show you they want to connect.

Oh I almost forgot,

Remember, some people are never going to be ready.

Watch out for signs they aren’t willing to hear you, to listen information that may conflict with their existing beliefs, to walk beside you instead of be above you

They may talk about how they have a right to their opinion, and how they refuse to be censored

Watch out if they use racial/homophobic/woman-hating language repeatedly

Watch out if they minimise/dismiss how violence impacts you

Watch out if they say you lack solidarity because you won’t do what they want.

Don’t lose hope. It’s each person’s right to set a boundary around what they need in their life.

You have that right too.

Keep setting and holding your boundaries.

Keep reaching out for support.

I only regret my economies

Relationship advice from friends is free, but free advice can cost you your relationship

Sometimes friends are not the right ones to give you an honest perspective on what you struggle with, or to hold you accountable. This is often because your friends haven’t yet built the skills to have uncomfortable conversations or, they may not want to risk the friendship. Or they give try to fix you by offering you one-size fits all solutions which just leave you feeling more alone with your issues.

If your advice-giving friends can’t see when you refuse to own any part of a problem, then you may be asking the wrong people. If you see your partner as a person you need to fix …that sort of relationship jumpstart rarely works. In a partnership each person needs to take responsibility for their share in the ecstasy and the hurt. One person is never entirely to blame, except in the case of abusive behaviour. If your friends are not supporting you to make requests in language that your partner can hear, so that your needs are met then you’d be better off with a coach who can support you to grow by giving you honest, actionable feedback. It’s easy to get friends to tell you it’s your partner’s fault and you should just leave. People are happy to coddle your ego and make you feel good by supporting you to stay in blame mode. No one gets to duck the work of creating boundaries, and maintaining connection and repairing after a conflict. As long as you are with someone who’s prepared to do the work, you’re good.

If you are the partner who gets scared or shuts down, to guard your heart from a request for connection, you can tell your partner you long for connection but could they just slooow right down to a bearable pace. You can practice self-awareness. You can learn to make requests that don’t leave your loved one feeling hurt, not heard and fearing that they will never be able to have their needs met.

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I’m Insecure and I Write

I started writing in 2014. I’d always written but like many writers I didn’t show my work to anyone. It seemed private. Also, I am insecure, so “why would anyone be interested in what I wrote.”

I have published work in quite a few places now.

What changed?

Writing is stripping off layer after layer in a way that engages others. That still terrifies me. I still worry about what to reveal and what to keep private.

I’m still insecure.

I met other writers. They support me, I support them. They are my favourite people.

I submit work. It gets rejected. A lot of my work doesn’t find a home. It hurts a bit. I move on. I am really great at getting rejected now. It still stings because I write about things which matter to me and I know there are people who out there in the world who will connect to my artistic expression as readers or writers. If you’re one of those people get in touch!